Life Lessons #1

When I woke up this morning, I realized something very important and I thought it would be nice to share this with you. And because of this, I suddenly thought: why not share everything I learn in life with you guys? Some things are very important and to be honest, I wished someone had told me certain important things about life, before I did anything stupid…

I’ve always been very grateful that high school began, because in elementary school I didn’t have a lot of friends. I had one best friend (a boy), but after a while, everything got awkward, because he wanted to be more than just friends. But maybe that’s a story for another time.

When I arrived at high school, I had more opportunities, I realized. I could become friends with everyone I wanted, because we all began with a fresh and new start. Soon, I made a few friends. Yes, with some I could get along better than others, but for me that wasn’t very important.

And I’m so grateful that I’m still friends with them, even though we had to go through some rough times, but we survived and that was the most important thing about everything.

Today, I will be talking about one of these rough times and where it went wrong, so maybe you guys, can prevent this from happening.

In our group there were once two best friends, called Lizzy and Cath (these aren’t their real names, by the way). I think you can already guess that these two got into a fight. This fight effected our whole group, because we all hang out with both of them.

My other friends and I didn’t want to be mixed up in everything, so we stayed in the sideline, and maybe you think that’s a good move, but that’s the thing I will be talking about today. Because honestly, that was a pretty big mistake.

Recently Lizzy told me that it really hurt her that we didn’t pick sides, that we just did nothing and that we all still hanged out with both of them, like nothing has happened. At first I thought she was just exaggerating, but last week I found out she didn’t.

About two months ago I also had a fight with Cath and since that moment, we’re not friends anymore. Again, my friends decided to stay on the sideline, even though some also had some problems with Cath (yes, she’s a really difficult person, as you can guess). As time went by, their problems got away, but I still wasn’t talking to Cath anymore, just like Lizzy.

 

One other friend of mine, called Gina, also had a lot of problems with Cath. For months she’s been complaining and complaining and I personally know that Cath has really hurt her. So for months she’s been trying to avoid Cath.

So when I saw them talking and laughing together about a week ago (and no, this didn’t happen just once), I felt kind of hurt. For months she’s been telling me things that apparently weren’t entirely true or at least, weren’t such a big of a deal, so I was kind of shocked, and hurt.

But I was more shocked to figure out that this was just like the fight between Lizzy and Cath. At first everyone tried to keep their distance, but then they acted like nothing had happened. And to be honest, I was one of those and I’m quite ashamed of it.

I should have done something earlier, but I didn’t, because I didn’t want to cause more problems. But because I didn’t do anything, things got even worse. I hurt Lizzy, a dear friend of mine, and I eventually caused more problems within our group. Things were awkward, even though we all acted like nothing was wrong.

I know that I’m not the only one to blame for not doing anything, because there were about five other friends of mine who also did the same, but because I realize now, I kind of feel the one to blame. At least, I blame myself.

So, the next time I see Lizzy, I’ll apologize for what I did and maybe that will make me feel better.

But I won’t tell anything to, for example, Gina, and you know why? This might be a real shitty reason, but we have about one month left of school and then we’ll both move to different cities to study, so I’ll survive and I let her be. And I know that this might not be right, but at this moment I’m very busy learning for my exams and I just can’t take another fight. So maybe one day, I’ll tell her, but just not now.

So what’s my advice actually? It’s simple: when there’s a fight between your friends, get mixed up in it, because if you don’t do anything, you might only cause more problems. I’m not saying you should pick a side (even though Lizzy told me she wanted us to pick a side), but try to work things out. Don’t let your arguing friends work everything out. They’re angry, they don’t always know what they’re doing. Just be there for them and try to get some sort of ultimatum, something you can all live with.

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